You Want to Be Happy? You’re Not Alone.
We all want it—happiness. The full package.
A fulfilling job. A beautiful family. Financial independence. Joy on tap. And please, no pain, thank you.
But generalizing happiness like this is a trap.
It’s like trying to lift a massive rock with your bare hands. You stand there, straining, confused about why you’re failing—when no one alive could lift that thing.
So what if, instead of chasing “happiness” like it’s some giant, glowing orb, we started breaking it down?
What if we asked:
How many pebbles can I divide this heavy rock into?
Let’s start with the first one: Pain.
Can you lift it?
The Lie: Happiness Without Pain
The industry wants to sell you happiness like it’s a product.
Here’s the secret formula: meditate more, buy this retreat, read this book, journal your gratitude, align with the moon, detox your trauma, and don’t forget to stay positive—at all costs.
But here’s what they don’t tell you:
There’s no real happiness without real pain.
Not because life is cruel.
But because numbness and joy use the same door. If you shut one out, you shut both out.
The Real Question: Happy How?
Saying “I want to be happy” is like saying “I want to be rich”—without asking how, where, or for what.
We generalize happiness because it’s easier than getting specific.
Because specificity forces us to admit what we actually want. And that means letting go of what we thought we shouldwant.
So instead of dragging around this vague idea of happiness, let’s get clearer.
Five Better Questions to Ask
What moments in my life have felt real—not just good, but deeply meaningful?
(The ones that hit you in the gut, not the ones you posted about.)What am I willing to feel pain for?
(Spoiler: that’s where your real joy probably lives.)What do I want to protect, even when everything else is collapsing?
(That’s not just your value—it’s your anchor.)Where do I feel alive, not just safe?
(Comfort is not the same thing as contentment.)Who am I when no one’s watching?
(Because that version of you already knows what happiness tastes like.)
Maybe Your Version of Happy Isn’t Loud
Maybe your happiness isn’t a bestseller, a TED Talk, or a villa in Bali.
Maybe it’s a quiet mind.
Or a kitchen that smells like childhood.
Or the feeling of not needing to perform anymore.
Whatever it is, you don’t need to find it in someone’s 10-step plan or healing podcast.
You just need to be honest about what it looks like for you.
And accept the discomfort that comes with building something real.
A Final Thought
“Happiness isn’t something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama
(And not the kind of actions that come with a ‘Buy Now’ button.)
